Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him