I swear she didn't look like that last week.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.