tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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