My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
