Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
