I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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