Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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