I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
