If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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