Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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