Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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