Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
