sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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