Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
