ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
