I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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