carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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