So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
