Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize