Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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