yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Randomize