Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
