I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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