It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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