so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
