he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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