You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
