i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Randomize
