Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
