This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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