last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
