She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
