What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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