Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
