If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
