so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
