I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
