twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
