my mouth tastes like poor choices
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
