She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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