Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
