bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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