he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
As shirtless as possible
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
She's not a foreskin expert like you
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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