i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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