So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize