I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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