Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
