period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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