If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
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There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
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The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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