Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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