I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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