I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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