I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
