bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
