she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
