You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
