I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
