You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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