What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You are a genius and a whore.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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