It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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