He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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