You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
