i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
