Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
