well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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