dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
well I can't set my house on fire every night
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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