I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
