32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
